Powerful Parenting

I was chatting with a colleague at work about our children. I work in health care in UK. We both have children the same age, and as we talked, we realised we shared the same feeling. That quiet worry about whether we’re doing enough for our children, and whether we’re giving them everything they need—not just for today, but for their future as well.

Maybe this is something that worries you, too? Maybe you ask yourself this question often, especially in moments when you feel like you’re failing as a mum… or perhaps as a dad. Those moments when self-doubt creeps in, and you wonder if you’re really getting it right.

In this blog post, I want to gently explore a question that so many of us ask ourselves at some point: am I a good enough mum?

“The fact that you worry about being a good parent means you already are one.”

1. You Listen and Observe More Than You Talk

This is a sign of emotional intelligence. Taking the time to truly listen—to notice your child’s emotions, behaviour, and needs—matters deeply. I’ve been reading about emotional intelligence recently, and it really opened my eyes to how these skills shape not only our work lives, but also our relationships with our partners and our children.
Even when your child is very young—my little one is just two—actively listening, sitting with them, and being fully present builds trust and emotional safety. If you can pause, observe, and truly listen to your child, you’re already doing something very right.

2. You Make Time for Your Child

This one is huge. Time is one of the most precious resources we have, and it often feels like there’s never enough of it. Many mums—especially single mums—carry a lot on their shoulders, and it’s understandable that time can feel stretched thin.
But every relationship needs time to grow and even to exist. My two-year-old daughter is very confident in claiming that time. She’ll take me by the hand and pull me from the kitchen into the living room, where we can spend hours playing with her toys. Those moments may seem small, but they are the foundation of connection, security, and love.

3. You Discipline with Love and Purpose

Discipline can feel uncomfortable, and many parents feel guilty when they have to do it—but fair and loving discipline is a good thing. It helps children understand boundaries, right and wrong, and how to navigate the world safely.
Guidance, consistency, and leading by example are acts of care, not cruelty. As the Bible reminds us, children need direction, leadership, and loving correction. When discipline is rooted in love and respect, it becomes a gift—one your child may not appreciate now, but will thank you for later.

4. You Are a Good Mum If You Are Always There for Your Children

I have to be honest—I wasn’t always great at this with my first child, whom I had when I was very young. I had to learn what it truly means to be present, to show up consistently, and to prioritise time with her. And the truth is, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Some things come naturally, but many parenting skills you have to learn along the way.

Even though I made plenty of mistakes, I now have a strong, loving relationship with my oldest daughter. Being there, learning from your errors, and continuing to show love is what really matters—and that’s what makes you a good mum.

“There is no failure in parenting, only learning and trying again.”

5. You are a great mum when you put your child’s needs before your own.

If you used to be a party animal, spent a lot of time hanging out with friends, or—maybe you’re a dad—played video games constantly, and you made the decision to slow down or stop in order to put your child first, you are already a great parent. I know it sounds simple, even logical, but in reality, it’s not easy. Sometimes it even means saying goodbye to certain friendships or habits you loved.

I remember my colleague when he had his first child—he gave up a lot of his video game time because he knew his baby would need him more. It wasn’t always easy, but he understood that the time and attention he gave his child would bring a reward far greater than any game could offer.

6. You Are a Winner as a Parent When You Let Your Children Be Themselves

I was brought up during the time of the Soviet Union, when children were restricted in many ways—what we could eat or drink, what we could wear, and even how we were expected to behave. Independence and self-expression were limited, and choices were often made for us.

Because of that, I made a conscious decision to parent differently. I allow my children to be themselves. My eldest has always been independent in her thinking, and I’ve supported her in choosing her own path in life, including what she wants to study at university. Whenever she asked for advice, I was there—not to decide for her, but to guide and support her.

It’s the same with my youngest. I don’t restrict her creativity—whether that means drawing on walls or creating a mess in the living room. At the same time, I believe freedom comes with responsibility, so she also learns to tidy up once the fun is over.

Letting children be themselves, while gently guiding them, helps them grow into confident, capable adults—and that’s a real win as a parent.

7. You are a good mum if you worry about your children’s future

“Parents worry not because they doubt their children, but because they love them deeply.”

I truly believe that worrying about our children is a sign of being a good mother. It’s a natural motherly instinct. We worry because we love, and because we genuinely care about their well-being, their happiness, and their future.

As a mum to girls, and also a stepmum to a stepson and a stepdaughter, my heart stretches in many directions. Each of them holds a special place in my life. I pray for all my children—every single one of them. Prayer is my way of loving them when I can’t physically be there.

I can’t always be present in the moments when they struggle or feel distressed, but my thoughts are never far from them. I worry when they are in trouble, and I feel deep joy when they celebrate their successes. Their pain feels personal, and their happiness feels like my own.

That constant awareness, that quiet concern that never really switches off—that’s not weakness. It’s love. It’s the invisible thread that connects a parent’s heart to their child, no matter the distance or circumstances.

And if you carry that same worry, that same hope, and that same love, then trust this: it means you care deeply—and that means you are doing something right.

Final Thoughts

Being a good mum isn’t about getting everything right—it’s about loving deeply, showing up, learning as you go, and caring enough to question yourself along the way. If you recognised yourself in even one of these signs, take that as reassurance: you are doing better than you think.

If this post spoke to you, I invite you to pause for a moment and show yourself the same kindness you give to your children. And if you know another mum—or dad—who might need this reminder today, please share this with them. Sometimes, a few gentle words are all it takes to ease a heavy heart.

You’re not alone on this journey